Official Girlfriend of Dave the Tart
by E arth. K id. T ree. H ugger
Summary: Set straight after ATMBISBM?. Dave and Gee are finally together, but can their relationship last? Plot will be put on when I get to it in the story - I don't want anyone stealing my ideas. 1st few chapters fluff. This is the 1st FF for after ATMBISBM.GXD
1. Diss Georgia Marathon

_**A/N: I am not Louise Rennison, I do not own the rights to the Confessions of Georgia Nicolson. I do, however, own this plot, so to all of you other FanFictioners, it's MINE. Don't steal it.**_

_**So hi all of you! Wow, now I have 5 stories on the go! What a saddo, I mustn't have a life! Lol.**_

_**This is something I thought of while I was having dinner, so voila!**_

**After Rom and Jule**

**My Bedroom**

**11.30pm**

Wowzee wow.

I am now the official girlfriend of Dave the Tart.

But I can't believe I asked him to be my girlfriend.

I am the biggest idiot.

But he wasn't horrible about the fact that my mouth mixed up the words my annoying brain sent it.

He just said he would be my girlfriend.

So does that mean I'm his boyfriend?

I don't look like a man, do I?

No, I don't think so.

But then after Dave said he would be my girlfriend, he said it would probably end in his tears.

What's that supposed to mean?

Is he insinuating I'm probably going to dump him for another Sex God or Luuuurve God?

Why on Earth would he think that?

True, I _did _use him once as decoy ducky.

But I won't now.

He's actually really sweet.

And not clingy either.

I was a bit miffed at the Ace Gang's reaction though.

They all cheered when I told them, and Rosie said, "Georgia, you are the stupidest girl in the world because it took you two whole years to realise that you should be with Dave the Laugh."

And Jools said, "Gee it's good you idiotic brain finally decided it wanted to go out with Dave the Laugh."

Mabs said something along the same lines, Ellen spent ages dithering going "I didn't, erm, know… that you… erm, liked… Dave the Laugh… or something?" and all Jas could do was smile.

So basically it was a major diss Georgia marathon and the Ace Gang were sort of competing to say a bigger insult about me.

Bloody hell.

So I snuck out while they were still yelling and went and sat on the wall in the fives court.

I don't know how long I was sitting there before Dave the Laugh came and sat next to me.

He didn't say anything; he just sat there with me and held my hand.

And my brain was silent for once.

It was actually really nice.

And I didn't feel awkward, like I should have said anything.

You know what?

I've never really felt awkward with Dave.

I don't really know what it means, but it's nice.

I looked at him.

He was looking up at the sky, and I know this sounds really cheesy, but the reflection from the stars in his eyes made me want to reach over and kiss him.

Before I could, he turned and looked at me, and then _he _kissed _me_.

He read my mind.

Again.

He always does, and I actually don't know why.

While I was kissing Dave, I heard something heavy stomping along the fives court, and I swear I could have heard something wobble.

Dave and I looked to what was wobbling, and we saw Slim jellying through the fives court.

She said, "Miss Nicolson, what did I tell you about running before you can walk? Be careful, Georgia."

What?!

No telling off?

The world has gone mad.

First I'm Jack the Biscuit's girlfriend, and then Slim sees me snogging Dave and doesn't tell me off?

It must be my amazing performance as Merc-lurk-io.

Cos it was only a couple of weeks ago she saw me with the Handbag Horse – wait, did I just call him the Handbag Horse? Dave must have influenced my brain – and now I was snogging Dave.

I was expecting a lecture about being with lots of boys.

Well, as I said before, I'll thank my excellent performance as Mer-lurk-io.

When she wobbled off, Dave looked at me and said, "What was all that about running before you can walk and all of that?"

I said, "Slim gave me a sex talk a couple of weeks ago cos Masimo was being all weird and he snogged me at school in front of everyone."

And Dave just laughed.

He laughed and laughed and laughed.

And I couldn't resist laughing too.

**_A/N: Well, here's your first chapter. Just so you know, the first few chapters will be all fluff, and then the plot will kick in._**

**_I think it's quite a funny plot. Lol. But I won't tell you just yet. You'll have to wait. Muahahahaha. Well, review!  
_**


	2. Grown Up, Mature Relationship

_**A/N: I'm sorry! I've neglected this for practically 2 months! OMG. I just had writers block. Anyway, a lot has changed since last time. Last time I said I had 5 stories on the go, now I have 12 stories on the go. And a few oneshots and songfics. **_

_**And if any of you have also read the Gallagher Girls series, could you check out my crossover of Gee Nicks and Gallagher? Please?**_

_**Ohh, and go check out the Pants Awards. Go on. Plus, Hornmeister Lover and myself are doing a Gee Nicks tandem story under our joint account, and the story is called Sex Kitty, I Luuurve You! **_

_And Dave just laughed._

_He laughed and laughed and laughed._

_And I couldn't resist laughing too._

**Next day (let's say it's Saturday – I'm AWFUL with keeping track of the days.)**

**8.30 AM**

Ho hum, pigs bum.

I am no longer on the rack of luuurve.

I now have a gorgey Laugh as a Hornpartner, and I've never been happier.

Apart from the times I've been happier.

But the point is, I am sehr happy in my lurvely relationship.

I am finally in a grown up, mature relationship.

How fabby.

Don't you just think Dave and I exude sophisticosity?

We do.

**5 minutes later**

God, I'm so bored.

There is absolutely NOTHING to do around here.

Nada.

Zip.

Zero.

Zilch.

Nichts.

Okay, Brain, I think we get the picture – there was no need to bring Lederhosen-a-gogo Land into this.

Phone's ringing.

**30 seconds later**

It's Jas.

How delightful.

"So are you finally going out with Dave then?"

"Yes. He is now my girlfriend."

"What?" Jas said. "Your girlfriend? But he's a boy, isn't he?"

Jassy really is the dimmest twit of the first water.

"What, no, you only just figured that out? Or are you still unsure? Because, Jassy, I can assure you that he is a boy. One hundred percent."

"What… you mean… you've reached number ten?! Already?! You promiscuous tart!"

I was wrong yesterday.

Jassy is not a good pally.

"No, Jas. I have not reached number ten."

"So… how do you know? You know, that you're one hundred percent sure that he's a bloke."

Oh dear Gott in Himmel.

She is so unbelievably dim.

"Jas," I said.

"Yes, Gee?"

"How do you know Tom's not a girly vole?"

Jas took a deep breath in, as though she was going to tell me something that would keep me here for ages.

I was right. "Well, he is a vole. And so am I. The other week we went on this wilderness thing, and the people running it told us about the Vole People, and had us all tested for the Vole People gene. Tom and I both have it. Apparently we're blessed, because it's an ancient species that is dying out. Not many people have it and it's a recessive gene. So when Tom and I have children, they'll be homozygous, with the Vole Gene, which means that their genotypes will be two little v's. Not two big v's, or one big v and one little one. Two little ones. Isn't this great?"

Depends on how you look at it.

I certainly don't want to be a vole person.

And frankly, I only understood wilderness, voles, tested, Vole People.

Obviously the people running this thing were slightly bonkers.

"Jas. Who organised this wilderness thing? Do they have a website?"

"Oh, right. Well, they're this married Vole People couple, and their website is .vole."

"Er, Jas?"

"Yes?"

"Isn't it meant to be www, not vvv?"

"Oh right. Well, it's because their Vole People, you see."

"Alright. I'll go have a look. Ring you back in a minute Jas."

"Okay."

I hung up.

What planet is this girl living on?

Vole Planet?

Actually, I think she is.

Obviously.

There is no such thing as Vole People.

**On the computer**

Good grief, our computer is SO slow!

It's like from the '90s!

You can't see the letters or anything, and the actual screen thing is a huge box.

And those went out in about 2001.

i.e., 8 years ago.

**15 minutes later**

The computer has _finally _loaded .vole.

Well, I was wrong.

The people who told Jas and Tom they are Vole People are not slightly bonkers.

No, they are completely and utterly beyond belief bonkers.

They are bonkers because they are little children's entertainers.

And who wants to do that?

Not me, for sure. (A/N: No offence – it's just for the story. My aunty teaches little kids circus, which entertains them. So yeah.)

So basically, they're little kids entertainers who pretend to be voles, and this is their website for the kids.

I read the For Parents section, and it says there they are just pretending.

But I reckon they like to have a larf, and when Jas and Tom showed up all serious about Voling, they pulled them a line about Vole People, and the gene being recessive.

I can't believe Jas and Tom fell for it.

Actually, I can.

Undoubtedly.

**Phone's ringing**

"Jas, you are not a Vole Person. That was all bull."

"Sex Kitty, Jassy is the biggest vole person the planet could have. And I am not Jassy. Which is probably obvious, unless Jas has recently acquired a deeper voice and has taken on lezzie tendancies. i.e., calling you Sex Kitty."

"No, Dave. Jas thinks that she and Tom are Vole People, and that it's a recessive trait. And her genotype is two little v's. Whatever a genotype is."

"Haven't you been listening in Blodge, Kitty? You'll need a detention for that."

"Okay, tell me what a genotype is then."

"Sex Kitty, I wouldn't have a clue."

"But you just said – "

"I know what I just said. But I already got my detention. I flunked my test. And received detention for it. It's just you that's due for one."

"Dave."

"Yes?"

"Stop being annoying."

"I am sorry, KittyKat, but that goes against the law of nature. Now I am afraid I must get on my camel and leave. Au revoir."

And he hung up.

HE. HUNG. UP. ON. ME.

Does this mean that I am going to be dumped?

Oh Buddha please, no!!

_**A/N: Overly dramatic, Gee. Honestly! Well you finally got your update. And don't worry, this'll have more frequent updates. Promise.**_

_**So did you like this chapter?**_

_**I'm really unsure about it, and I dunno if it was any good.**_

_**So tell me if it was or wasn't. And if it wasn't, what I can do to improve.**_

_**Thanks!**_

_**There's the green button!**_


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